The Obama Monologues

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Like a medicine man selling his annual snake-oil to the American people, Obama used the SOTUS and the help of his Marxist shills to once again sell his fraudulent goods. Just like any good play, the foundation was laid, the approach carefully prepared, the scheme exposed, the pay-offs made, the dénouement or crisis declared, and the corroboration set in motion.

Obama’s dramatic monologue on Tuesday night to his audience of dulcet Democrats reached a frenzied climax when he revealed his dénouement for the year ahead, that climate change is America’s greatest threat.

I was very relieved to learn that Mother Earth’s body heat is my biggest threat. Now I can stop polishing my gun and get back to those slow breathing Yoga exercises that will help reduce the carbon emissions that I am producing. Not only will I be saving the world, I will be getting physically fit, and then maybe Michelle Obama will stop spending my taxes on expensive choreographed “Sproutz” dance numbers that feature gays dressed up to look like broccoli.

When Je Suis John Fonda Kerry summed up the climate change threat, he referred to those of us who do not buy the climate claims as “members of the Flat Earth Society” who are “risking nothing less than the future of the entire planet” by resisting implementation of the administration’s policies. He too believes that “Climate change is directly related to the potential of greater conflict and greater instability.” “I’m telling you that there are people in parts of the world in Africa today, they fight each other over water.”

Such a naive statesman, that Kerry…even I know that you do not fight over water when you do not have a head. Those piles of bodies murdered by the Boko Haram jihadist’s are just dying to have their heads re-attached so they can fight over a gulp of water.

I can only imagine how our Commander-in-chief plans to rescue us from the threat of being too hot. Will the Pentagon start handing out free G-strings to keep us all safe and cool? If so, think of the gruesome ‘nuclear’ fallout from that! Walmart will become so R-rated that holy water will have to be offered at each entrance, Michelle will be exposing us all to who knows what…certainly some kind of unimaginable overflow coming out of her G-string, and Harry Reid will be sporting a government sponsored G-string in place of an eye patch, all the better to see us with. Oh, the horrors of climate change!

As the Obama Monologues play out, members of the Flat Earth Society should be thankful and relieved that our government has got our back and has made the calamitous climate threat our number one priority. Whew. After all, no American wants to hear the Islamist terrorists who have set up camp in America shout “Allah Abracadabra” “I heat up, I can’t cool down” while chasing us with a Machete.

Uncle Barack’s Cabin

Uncle Barack's Cabin

Uncle Barack’s Cabin

 

Uncle Tom’s Cabin, authored by abolitionist activist Harriet Beecher Stowe and published in 1852, helped lay the groundwork for the Civil War. The main character in her book, Uncle Tom, was a long-suffering black slave. The “sentimental” genre novel, was the second best-selling book of the nineteenth century following the Bible and depicts the reality of slavery while also asserting that Christian love can overcome enslavement. In recent years, the negative politically correct associations with Uncle Tom’s Cabin have, to an extent, overshadowed the historical impact of the book as a “vital antislavery tool.”

Let’s fast forward in time to 2008, when the citizenry of the United States of America elected Barack Hussein Obama to become their first black president, and then elected him again for an astounding second term in 2012! Almost six years into this presidency, Harriet Beecher Stowe would be shocked to learn that now everyone in America, white and black and everything in- between, have become slaves to a black man who, according to his black communist Senior advisor Valerie Jarrett, feels that his six story, 55,000 square foot cabin full of hundreds of obedient slaves is way too confining! Jarrett sympathetically stated, “I think frankly we’ve all been through a cold and bitter winter and the bear has cabin fever.” “His cabin is a little bit bigger and harder to escape than most.” Just last week,”imprisoned” Uncle Barack himself dreamed openly about a future life outside his too big white cabin, “ I’ll be on a beach somewhere, drinking out of a coconut!”

To date, cabin weary Uncle Barack has 31 trips under his belt, totaling hundreds of millions of dollars, including his week long safari in Africa last year that judicial watch estimates cost between $60 and $100 million dollars. Uncle Barack and Auntie Michelle find their cabin so stifling, that Uncle Barack is now officially recognized as the most travelled president in US history! Perhaps if all American taxpayers pitch in, a special tax deductible fund called “Bring the Vacation to US,” can be added to our tax forms! Once enough is collected, the White House could be moved to a luxurious gated golf community in a warm resort location! In the long run, hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars could be saved, global carbon credits would accumulate and Americans would sleep better at night knowing that a full time golf agenda would keep many of our elite bureaucrats busy and out of our hair!

All hardworking Americans want to learn how we too can shirk our responsibilities and party just like Uncle Barack and his fellow Slavemasters! Maybe then we too would be able to master the art of blindly ignoring the fact that America is $60 trillion dollars in debt, that thousands of parentless possibly diseased children, dangerous terrorists and drug cartel members are illegally entering the USA every day, and that our non-existent foreign policy has allowed the Middle East to become a hotbed of ISIS (Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) terrorism! Maybe we can examine what Uncle Barack and his team of Slavemasters did last weekend as an example and learn the secret to a happy life without the stress of worrying about an America that is about to be handed over to the NWO.

First, where else would a bored, roaming grizzly with cabin fever go, but to the luxurious Rancho Mirage, CA where the state flag features a roaming grizzly, and upon arrival at the airport, a real life grizzly animal named Sen. Barbara Boxer is always on standby to meet and greet Uncle Barack as he once again exercises his dereliction of duty. Uncle Barack’s fun filled four day weekend began by attending an invitation only breakfast, Democratic fundraiser at the home of environmental activist Anne Earhart, where 25 supporters forked over up to $32,400 each to meet the famous amateur golfer. After the fundraiser, Uncle Barack delivered the UCIrvine commencement address at Angel Stadium in Anaheim. With a feisty tone and a touch of aggravation, he laid into Republicans who question the science of climate change and urged the graduates to take on global warming as a cause, while declaring that the number one problem affecting the world today is climate change!

Uncle and Auntie Obama then wined and dined at the luxurious Rancho Mirage cabin of Michael Smith and his partner James Costos…double the campaign supporter pleasure, Michael the decorator of luxurious cabins like the White House, James, Uncle Barack’s hand chosen Ambassador of Spain and Andorra, a man well qualified to maintain and raise the Gay rainbow flag over the U.S. Spanish Embassy at all times!Uncle Barack then enjoyed a much needed break from his oh so ordinary Maryland Golf course to hit some balls at some of the toniest golf courses in California. It is the sixth time he’s golfed in Rancho Mirage and the 176th time he has hit the links since becoming president…such a great way to release all that cabin fever! Meanwhile, Auntie Michelle was taking a much needed break from her cabin slave attendants and her duties as the High Priestess of Obesity to visit daughter Malia who is interning for the summer with major campaign contributor and film maker Steven Spielberg. Sounds like a busy and fun time was had by all!

All Americans eager to party as well must keep in mind that the key to Uncle Barack’s being able to relax and enjoy his California gay coconuts is because his fellow Slavemasters are hard at work lying, cheating and stealing for him while he is away from his confining D.C. cabin. For example, Vice-president Joe Biden jetted off to Brazil to congratulate the U.S. soccer team after their win over Ghana, making sure to include family in the freebie trip by watching the game with one of his granddaughters and a young nephew. All this while Islamists in Kenya and Nigeria slaughtered 74 innocent soccer fans as they watched the World Cup at viewing areas.

Sycophant extraordinaire, Secretary of State John Fonda Kerry was busy reciting Maya Angelou poetry in London while boasting about climate change and then raced off to shore up his bromance with Leonardo DiCaprio who gave a speech at Kerry’s star studded “Our Ocean” conference on the world’s real “vital security issue”; climate change! Funny, someone on his well paid advisory staff has not pulled John Fonda Kerry aside to inform him that those ISIS beheadings are taking place, weather or no weather!

Hustler Harry Reid made notable headlines by declining an invitation from the Washington Redskins until the team changes its offensive name and he “will not stand idly by while a professional sports team promotes a racial slur as a team name and disparages the American people.” Should that be Harry’s number one priority while every American is in danger of eventually losing not only our scalps, but our entire head to Islamic extremists? But, heroically, the United States Patent Office, decided to step in and do the dirty work for dirty Harry and using questionable strong armed tactics, cancelled the Washington Redskins federal trademarks!

Nancy Pelosi showed off her stellar executive branch skills by giving Archbishop Cordileone of San Francisco a piece of her mind about his insistence on walking for marriage. Pelosi called the event “venom masquerading as virtue.” I think Python, Holycrap Pelosi should have been honest and also told the media that Bishop Gehring, the clergy she “uses,” works for George Soros! Nancy also condemned Republicans for adding white potatoes to the WIC vegetable bill; “including the potato is an assault on science.” My question is, was she once assaulted as a young girl by “Mr.Potato Head” and did that assault impair her brain?

Attorney General Eric Holder was kept busy making sure his hundreds of full time lawyers were sealing every possible loophole that would prevent thousands of illegal aliens from being deported so that they can become the new Democratic voter base! Who would have thought that a Democratic Senator ( Guestavo Rivera of New York) would put forth a new legislative proposal that would give these aliens the right to vote and collect government benefits! Brilliant! The DOJ was also hard at work making sure no one in the media talked about the e-mail back-up system in place at the offices of the IRS that has all the evidence ever needed to incriminate Lois Lerner!

DHS was covertly trying to out-do all the other Slavemasters by hastening the transformation of the USA into a militarized police state by coordinating the transport of United Nations armored vehicles that were being hauled on flatbed trucks, up the Interstate near the Alabama-Georgia border, bound for an undetermined destination. Mohamed Elibiary a senior adviser to DHS and head cheerleader of treasonous behavior in Uncle Barack’s “cabinhate” spent his time gleefully tweeting about an inevitable “Caliphate” in the Middle East.

Whew. You have to give Uncle Barack’s swami cabin chieftains a lot of credit! They sure know how to pick up the bureaucratic ball and run with it while Uncle Barack is away from the cabin! The bottom line is, just whistle to the tune, Don’t Worry, Be Happy! and everything will be just fine.  “Ain’t got no place to lay your head, somebody came and took your bed…don’t worry, be happy! ” According to Harriet Beecher Stowe, Christian love can overcome enslavement! But, will Christian love overcome treason? Uncle Barack has aided, abetted and given comfort to the enemies of the United States by releasing enemy combatants who will once again wage war against the USA….and that’s just for starters. Voting in November will no longer solve the entire problem. Richard Anthony asked in a recent article “are we ready to enlist a brave few prosecutor’s across the country to file criminal charges against the president, with Americans the plaintiffs of the suits?”

Here’s a bit of sage advice for Uncle Barack from Patrick Henry, “If this be treason, make the most of it.”

So Uncle Barack, sit back, keep sipping out of your coconuts and, Don’t worry, be happy!