Baracktrema Obamai, The Worm

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It has come to my attention that a tiny parasitic flatworm that lives in turtle’s blood, a skinny two inch long creature, has been named after President Barack Obama. ‘Baracktrema obamai’ is a newly discovered species related to a parasite that can cause a devastating disease in humans. Scientist Thomas Platt who discovered this new creature says they “are phenomenally incredible resilient organisms”

It is good to know that America finally has a scientist they can fully trust. The characteristics of this small skinny worm so closely resemble Barack Obama that it is startling. In fact, our Worm-in chief may be the biggest two inch worm that has ever infested the White House, a “phenomenally incredible resilient” publicly funded parasite who is so ‘resilient’ he is trying to wiggle worm his way into a third term in office.

Rumor has it that when haggard Hillary gets indicted for treason, or her secret service footmen get so fed up with her abusive foul mouth they don’t come to her rescue the next time she falls off the stage onto her already brain damaged but coiffed head, that Baracktrema will inch his way into control.

Will there be a false flag to help Baracktrema’s chances? Our wormy leader is spineless, but no dummy. He attended Harvard where studying about Mao, Lenin and Hitler are essential to the development of the young dictator’s in waiting there and he knows full well that Hitler got a big power lift after the false flag Reichstag Fire in 1933 that destroyed the German parliament building.

Back then, fires and atom bombs were all the rage. Now it’s more complicated. In the increasingly dangerous world of Baractrema, nuclear seems to have become the chic false flag weapon of choice now, just ask North Korea, whose recent nuclear test was nothing more than a sales pitch to other rogue states to buy their nuclear products.

Here in America, false flags are now easier to pull off due to Baracktrema’s black ninja swat team of CIA-like accomplices who seem to have become his own private cabal of incendiaries ready at a moment’s notice to instill harm on an unsuspecting public.

These same CIA creeps obviously sponsor a drama school as well, where paid citizen performers are taught how to pretend to have their knees blown off multiple times. Watching the same set of actors lose their fifth set of knees during a false flag is like watching our kids play the game ‘Operation” where the same yanked ankle gets tweezed back into place, over and over again. Just plain annoying.

When not busy applying fake blood, these same Soros paid character actors are being used on the campaign trail, to swoon and “faint” when the slippery Obamai parasite worms his way up to the podium. Even Elvis would be jealous.

In spite of all this, to many Christian Americans, social justice is far more important than nuclear false flags, our safety and our children’s futures. These are the same Christians who do not seem to understand the difference between voting for a politician who supports abortion and one who does not. Will they be equally confused when they someday arrive at Heaven’s gate and find it locked? Sure hope they ponder that next Sunday while daydreaming in the pew.

It is these same Christian social justice warriors who insist on overlooking all of Obamai’s “in our face” insults. Lavish dinner parties with his Hollywood rapper pals and cop haters, secret meetings with Muslim operatives, apology tours around the globe, extravagant vacations that include extended family, friends, and dogs that have their own private jet and handlers, nuke free air travel for worthless campaign-golf trips, radical racial bigotry toward whites and the middle class, and open border policies for hard-core terrorists just needs to be ignored because Obamai is black and America has not treated blacks right.

Yes, we all must feel compassion for the first black president, Baracktrema’s life has not always been easy. Growing up with an assortment of communist caregivers intent on making sure their bundle of socialist joy would have access to a lifetime of free entitlements must have been tough on him. Also, transitioning from being the leader of his high school marijuana, cocaine “choom gang” to becoming the leader of the free world and not being able to even smoke a cigarette in public now must be a real bummer for the D.C. parasite. It’s no wonder he has to alleviate his stress on the golf course playing with his little balls rather than being back at the White House attending to the important business at hand!

Back at the White House, the stress on the Obamai worm is almost unbearable. Sharing the oval office with two beastly, hen-pecking women is a real nightmare.

Michelle, with her muscular biceps bigger than his, and bulge in her pants bigger than his, can sure keep that tiny two inch flaccid worm in check, and Vice-parasite Valerie Jarrett, well, she knows better than anyone how to keep her Worm-in-chief in line! In fact, Iranian born Jarrett does not need Baracktrema’s code to the nuclear button to threaten or leverage him, she helped hand over the secretive billions of dollars ‘ransom’ to her fellow countrymen for their nuclear advancement! Heck, nuclear access to Jarrett is like having access to toilet paper wherever she goes! As long as she keeps Baracktrema focused on climate change cow farts and peeping Tom bathrooms, it is her world to reign and ruin!

The Bible teaches Christians to have discernment, (First Thessalonians 5:21-22) and to abstain from evil. It could not be more clear. Why then are Christians, their clergy and their churches giving Obamai, the public parasite, a free pass? How can they knowingly assist in his Soros funded resettlement programs where anti-god, anti-American, anti-women, and anti-Constitution Muslim illegals are coming here in droves, while Christians around the globe are being unmercifully slaughtered and ignored?

My discernment tells me that the Baracktrema Obamai worm infestation in America may be one of those really bad plagues God talks about in the end times, and that tells me our nation cannot survive another term with the Worm-in-chief… and neither can the rest of the world.

The intelligent child in this youtube has it right. Go eat worms, especially the long skinny Obamai ones and get rid of this pesky parasite for good. It will be good for your health and that of America.

Vote Trump this November.

 

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Don’t Allow Fruit Loops In Our Bathrooms!

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During a news conference in London last week, Barack Obama took the time to address a very important international issue, the North Carolina Law that requires transgender people to use public bathrooms that correspond to their gender designation at birth.

With Prime Minister David Cameron by his side, it was an important diplomatic moment for Barack because the U.K. had just issued an extreme travel advisory to its wimpy citizens warning them not to travel to certain ‘no-go heterosexual bathroom zones’ in America! Oh, the horror of dirty bathroom wars! If only during the War of Independence, George Washington had known that correctly labeling bathrooms would have sent the scaredy-cat British scurrying for gender cover! Baffling bathroom tactics would have allowed our gutsy he-man patriots who simply peed in the woods to march to victory much sooner!

While standing on that stoop at 10 Downing Street, Commander-in-apology Barack seized the political moment, his wide mouthed, toothy grin poised ready for gain and glory, and one more gratifying photo op. Without the assistance of his Secretary of State, John Fonda Kerry, Minstrel James Taylor, Court Jester Joe Biden or trusted Iranian, Valerie Jarett, Barack sternly took command and stated to the world that the North Carolina bathroom law was “wrong and should be overturned.”

It was a moment in time most Americans will never forget, for it was the first time the president ever spoke from knowledge and experience! This was not about Iran, Syria or North Korea, this was about Barack’s area of expertise, a sentiment expressed from America’s first gay president, the man who took a transgender to be his wife, the first queer couple of the United States! In fact, Barack’s plea for ‘pee peace’ was so monumental that it may even one day earn him the ‘Nobel Pee Prize’ for his gallant efforts to stop North Carolina from admitting perverts into girls bathrooms!

The good news is now that Barack is back, he finally has something to focus on other than golf, and bathroom wars do not entail sending troops into harms way!

In the meantime, Michelle Doubtfire Obama has decided to stay out of the bathroom wars, maybe fearing one day she herself would have to courageously walk into the correct bathroom for her gender. Instead, Michelle Doubtfire has turned her energy from getting sweet tips from celebrity transgender Candy Candis Cayne to offering non-sugary tips to Day Care Centers!

Last week new rules stemming from the school lunch law championed by Michelle Doubtfire are banning popular children’s foods in daycare centers across the country. The regulation will only allow daycare centers to serve juice once a day, will ban fried foods, and encourages centers to not add honey to a child’s yogurt.

Michelle Doubtfire’s law requires the USDA to “promote health and wellness in child care settings” and is the first major change to the program since 1968. Going into effect in 60 days, Lucky Charms, Trix, Cocoa Puffs, Cap’n Crunch and Frosted Flakes will be replaced with nursing home favorites, Fiber One and All-Bran. Lucky kids.

To Michelle Doubtfire, allowing sweet male transgender Candis to pee in a Ladies Room is okay, but Frosted Flakes are just wicked little devil’s that should never enter the mouths of babes!

The government calls this new law that will affect over 3.3 million children, a “collective” approach to eating.

What about “collective sins?” Having transgender “Fruit Loops” in the little girls room is far more destructive and harmful to our children’s health!

It’s time to revolt!

Keep our children safe by boycotting retailers who encourage transgender’s to commingle in bathrooms and dressing rooms…and as a special precaution, advise your children to avoid Fiber One and All-Bran, a trip to the bathroom may be hazardous to their health!

Michelle Obama’s Food Fight, a Cornucopia Full of Disgrace and Deceit

 

Michelle Obama’s Food Fight, a Cornucopia Full of Disgrace and Deceit

Michelle Obama’s Food Fight, a Cornucopia Full of Disgrace and Deceit

Bill Yosses, the White House pastry chef, has resigned and is moving on this June. Yosses was hired in 2007 by Laura Bush to make cookie plates and sugar sculptures. After Michelle Obama requested that dishes be lower in fat and sugar and served in smaller portions, he began replacing butter with fruit puree, honey and agave. But, he stated he has never given up on traditional sweets. “I don’t want to demonize cream, butter, sugar and eggs,” Yosses said, noting that his departure from the White House is a “bittersweet decision.” Barack is so fond of Yosses’ pie crust that last Thanksgiving, the first family had nine pies to choose from; huckleberry, pecan, chocolate cream, sweet potato, peach, apple, banana cream, coconut cream and pumpkin. It is interesting to note that there is not a single plum pie in that entire sugary, butter-laden list! I guess chef Yosses did not want Little Barack Horner to be able to pull out a plum and make the false claim, “What a good boy am I.” What the main stream media failed to report at the time was that Little Barack Horner stole the abundant pies from the White House kitchen, which is why he shamefully sat in a corner to eat them! Citizens are astounded at how prophetic the nursery rhyme was regarding narcissism and thievery and will forever look at Little Barack Horner in a new light.

In the real world where the “little people” live, selfish Michelle does not want to share her pies and fries. Instead she would rather instigate a food fight against the American people to make sure they adhere to her hypocritical “Miss Piggy” food standards. She does “appear” to be an expert in all things food, however, so while munching on our fried chicken wings, we all watch her with rapt fascination, like one watches the elephants at the zoo eat and crap. Americans are just hoping that after her trip to China, Michelle will not be pushing chop sticks onto her perceived “puffy cheeked” public after learning first hand that it is not possible to shovel food down as quickly using just two little skinny sticks.

Going forward, in a sugar-less, butter-less, cream-less, egg-less, mutinous Michelle world, there will be no cotton candy at the amusement park, no Bailey’s Irish whipped cream on top of Irish coffee, no sugar crusted creme brulee. No Macaroni and cheese, no double chocolaty chip Frappuccino blended with cream, no Cinnabon’s Caramel Pecanabons, no corn dogs on a stick, no red velvet donuts frosted with slick pink confectioner’s sugar with sprinkles, no triple layered cheeseburgers with double processed cheese and a large side of fries. George Washington’s mother is rolling over in her “Lafayette Gingerbread Cake” grave. Most American’s believe that Michelle’s “Miss Piggy” diet is totally un-American, instead believing it borders on treason, and it is the wish of most Americans to sentence her to life on a fat farm in the not too distant future.

“Stressed” spelled backwards is “Dessert.” Those who think for themselves have learned to eat anything they want as long as it is in moderation and they go for a walk. The inherent problem is not food, but the reflex of the elbow to the mouth. Perhaps Michelle should convert the already federally funded “Planned Parenthood” facilities into home economic learning centers. Rather than teaching parents how to successfully kill babies, they could conduct classes on healthy cooking, planting a Victory garden, how to knit and sew, and general survival techniques, all suitable subjects to help survive in a country where the government is intent on killing off their citizens because their carbon footprint is too great.

While millions of children are going hungry every night and as poverty rises in America, Michelle’s “Let’s Move” campaign is funding the “Super Sprowtz”, a traveling troupe that promotes healthy eating (and poor spelling). Colby Carrot, Brain Broccoli and Erica Eggplant lead their human friends in stretches and dance, while conductor Mushroom Michelle waves her magic celery stick in the aroma-free sky. In this telling YOUTUBE, that must have cost the American taxpayer a fortune, White House chef Sam Klass and his fellow sprouts do a great job demanding that American’s eat their “Super Powers.” ….Don’t tempt us chef Sam, barbecued Barack ribs with a side of Soros sausage and Jarrett jello, symbolically eaten on the Fourth of July, sounds pretty darn appetizing to most Americans right now.

This year, the White House “Easter Egg Roll’ theme is “Hop into Healthy, Swing into Shape.” The official 2014 WHITE HOUSE EASTER EGG is crafted from FSC-certified U.S. hardwood and comes in four colors, stamped with both the signatures of Barack and Michelle. There is also a special edition of “Bo and Sunny” themed eggs when you buy the entire set! I encourage everyone to buy these wooden eggs for two reasons; one, the money raised will help Sunny and Bo purchase their own private jet equipped with an in-flight shiny new red fire hydrant and two, once Michelle decides to outlaw eggs, you can show your grandchildren what an egg looked like back in the olden days of chicken and eggs.

Michelle’s creative juices got especially runny with her “Get Fruved” campaign which cost the taxpayers a fat $5 million dollars. This ambitious project uses a non-diet approach to weight management and instead promotes healthy behavior and a positive body image. Collegiate 4-H students from different states are working together to develop an exciting and interactive social marketing plan. Prankster students will no longer be tugging at Fruit of the Loom underwear tags to create wedgies, instead, this  fruity program is much more fulfilling! Hormone charged students can now legitimately parade around like transvestite FRUits and VEgetables ( do you now get FRUVE?) The closet queen campaign centers around five teams; Spinach, Carrot, Banana, Grapes and Tomato, with all five teams led by mascots. Once the campaign has solidified into something “digestible” the traveling tutti fruitti’s will taint high school 4-H students as well. The high school Sex-ed Porn Department will be theatrically entertained while watching Miss Tomato playfully getting “twerked” by a carrot. It is certain that their appetite for food will be successfully suppressed as these students discuss cross pollination and the bird’s and the bee’s rather than food! Brilliant!

This important YOUTUBE  demonstrates how well a tomato and banana can jive together!  I am sure that the parents who are washing dishes to make sure their children get a proper education will see the benefit in this taxpayer paid program. If it was a fully accredited course called “How to Screw the Taxpayer and Get Away With It” I am sure parents would not mind a little harmless fun. But, the fun does not stop there, these same Fruved students will be recognized as experts in their field and their vast knowledge will be as equally valued as academic expertise. (If you think this cannot possibly be true, click on this LINK. These same fruits and vegetables masked as students are being primed to become the future eco-wacko’s who will enthusiastically join Green Giant Gore in his greedy greenie weenie plan to help destroy America.

Meanwhile, the American taxpayer does not need to get Fruved to lose it’s appetite. The EPA’s indigestible code words  “Sustainability” and “littlest impact on the environment” have now been coupled with dietary guidelines. In the past, the federal government’s dietary guidelines were intended exclusively to “promote health and reduce risk for major chronic diseases. No more. Now, for the first time in history, dietary guidelines plan to include immigration, global climate change and agriculture/aquaculture sustainability as well, and will not only increase the price of the food we buy, but will increase the cost assumed by all taxpayers as food stamps, military and school meal programs become more costly, as outlined in this LINK.

All of the above food corruption could not possibly be devised with a clear head. That is why in fiscal 2013, the federal government spent almost $1.3 million dollars on ALCOHOL, more than quadruple the $315,000 spent in 2005 and $400,00 more than 2012. At that rate, 2014 should be a banner year for innovative new government programs created out of a drunken stupor.

In my opinion, college students should forgo their four year educations and instead get their degrees in Mixology. Having the ability to be able to blend fruits and vegetables into “designer drinks” should earn them prestigious positions on Capitol Hill, the party capitol of the world. As an added bonus, eco-mixologist aides will receive free Vitamix’s with a full 64 ounce capacity and… the real kicker…a never ending supply of booze. Why should college students settle for just one spring break a year when they can party every day! So join the perpetual party, “mix” with the best on Capitol Hill and help Miss Piggy fill her cornucopia with disgrace and deceit! UNCLE SAM WANTS YOU!

Michelle Obama, the New 8th Wonder of the World!

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Michelle Obama, her daughters, and her mother are in China this week without President Obama, who has his own trip planned to Europe and Saudi Arabia. It has created a bit of a national crisis because of all the in-fighting going on over who gets Air Force One and who gets Air Force Two because there is a crucial difference between the two; the stewards don’t serve alcohol on Air Force Two and require Blackberries to be turned off and seat-belts fastened. In addition, the press seats on Two are much smaller and two bathrooms mid-plane must be shared by staff and press alike. Both Obama dogs and their handlers are also perturbed and feel slighted because their private jet will not be accompanying the family to China for a much needed inspection of facilities that produced jerky treats which poisoned hundreds of American dogs. But, all’s well that ends well because the diplomatic forces on Capitol Hill know that Michelle will be doing what she does best….V.A.C.A.T.I.O.N.  and a happy wife is a happy life for her vast support team!

Michelle will be meeting with the First Lady of China, Peng Liyuan, a People’s Liberation Army (PLA ) Major General and goodwill ambassador to the World Health Organization. Her husband, Xi Jinping, China’s state President has his degree in Marxist theory and ideological education, so he and Michelle will hopefully be able to share a cozy fireside chat and exchange notes about Marxist indoctrination in their respective government school systems. Michelle also plans to visit with high school and university students. The secret service has been placed on high alert, ready to grab Michelle if she tries to inspect the student’s lunch pails. During the March 19-26 trip, Michelle and her enormous entourage of cosmeticians, wig fitters, eyebrow painters and assorted other servants will visit Beijing, Xi’an and Chengdu and she is asking American students to follow her travels by tuning into the Global Learning and Diplomacy Blog. In advance of the trip, Michelle pointed out in the blog that poverty and climate change are of a global nature and that “These issues affect every last one of us, so it’s critically important that young people like you learn about what’s going on not just here in America, but around the world.”

I am sure that many children in America whose parents do not have a job, have had their health insurance canceled, and are foraging for food in dumpsters will be fascinated with her concern for global issues, including poverty and education. According to a report in The Nation, “With the exception of Romania, no developed country has a higher percentage of kids in poverty than America. America also has a remarkably high percentage of people in what is called “deep poverty,” less than half the official poverty rate.” “That so many leaders of a country with a $17 trillion economy tolerate so much misery amid so much plenty is one of the great scandals of our age.”

As far as education is concerned, according to The Broad Foundation, after World War II, the United States had the #1 high school graduation rate in the world. Today, we have dropped to #22 among 27 industrialized nations. American students rank 25th in math, 17th in science and 14th in reading compared to students in 27 industrialized countries and less than half of American students, 46 percent, finish college, putting the USA in last position among 18 countries measured on this indicator.

Impressive, if you want a bunch of students unprepared for the real global world. But Americans know that Michelle does care about government run schools and along with her Common Core groupies is very concerned that students get their proper training in pornographic LGBT and sex education. After all, If they do well in those classes, then their “A” in sex will outweigh their “D’s” in math and science and will allow them to graduate. While students scratch their drugged ADHD foggy heads and wonder if maybe the last vaccination that Uncle Sam forced upon them may have contributed to their chronic confusion, they are content to spend the next week watching Michelle on their school computers instead of reading the multicultural, politically correct Common Core reading requisites like, Dreaming In Cuban by Cristina Garcia, which is more like reading an article from the latest Hustler magazine.

In addition to their similar viewpoints regarding Marxist inspired education, mythical Michelle and Peng share other potentially bonding traits. Peng is an expert in folklore and elaborates on her fairy tales by singing.  Among her most popular songs are Embroidering the Red Flag and, To See Liberation For All Oppressed  (no joke). Perhaps Michelle can show off her singing talent as well! I am sure that Peng would be impressed with her version of Happy Birthday that she sang to Barack last year at his birthday party!

While Michelle conducts speeches which detail Al Gore climatology and eating healthy brown rice instead of white, the important human rights issues will be left to Secretary of State John Fonda Kerry who recently stated that many governments are engaging in politically motivated prosecutions and using new technologies to control dissent, whether in public squares or through various types of technology. Kerry singled out several governments he said have abused the human rights of their countrymen, including; Syria, Russia, China, Egypt, Bangladesh and Ukraine. He said 80 governments around the world have enacted laws discriminating against homosexuals.

China immediately came back with a Jab at the U.S.A. accusing it of hypocrisy concerning human rights violations, saying that “posing as ‘the world judge of human rights’ the U.S. government “made arbitrary attacks and irresponsible remarks” on the human rights situation in more than 200 countries and regions. “However, the U.S. carefully concealed and avoided mentioning its own human rights problems, adding that the U.S. tapping program, code-named PRISM which exercises long-term vast surveillance both at home and abroad is a “blatant violation of international law” and seriously infringes on human rights.” China goes on to point out the drone strikes that have caused significant civilian casualties, that unemployment has topped 21 % and the homeless population has climbed to 16%.

While on her tour, Michelle will be visiting the Great Wall of China, one of the New 7 Wonders of the World. The Wall, a series of fortifications made of stone, brick, tamped earth, wood and other materials, is approximately 5,500 miles long. It has been rumored that the Wall can be seen from space, which has proven to be a total fallacy. However, Al Gore’s climate scientists, known for their accuracy, have successfully shot a photo of Michelle’s visit to the Wall from space using an advanced telescopic lens, as evidenced in the above photo of Michelle taken from Gores climate-gate telescope in the sky! Now space shot Michelle can claim to be the 8th New Wonder of the World!  It is also worthy to note Michelle’s ability to hide her Crown Jewels for so long, baffling to both investigators and Americans alike! Citizens would like to know her secret and wish that Fort Knox, which has not been audited in over 60 years, had such a secure “vault” for it’s treasure!

While Michelle, Our “Belle”  is munching on fried sesame quail eggs and planning her next vacation, Americans are plotting another get-a-way for her as well! A collection has been taken to coordinate a NASA trip to the moon, a space flight complete with booze, large bathrooms, and the ability to be unrestrained from seat belts. There will be plenty of room for the liberal press as well. Frank Sinatra even had the foresight to sing about her upcoming trip this spring with his version of Fly Me to the Moon, encouraging  Michelle to  play among the stars and see what spring is like on both Jupiter and Mars!

So, while viewing the moon this spring, if you can clearly see the “man” in the moon…it just may be Michelle Obama enjoying her extraordinary extended vacation, courtesy of the American taxpayer.