Like a tarnished old timepiece recently unearthed from a 1960’s underground time capsule that has suffered considerable rot, Bernie Sanders has emerged from the tainted topsoil of polluted politics to wage an impressive, impeccably timed run for the presidency.
Slightly too old to be a baby boomer with his mop of snowy white hair that sticks up in the air like a piece of pulled nursing home cotton, Bernie knows full well that his gray haired baby boomer Marxist professor buddy’s are getting ready to retire, their job of indoctrinating and dumbing down our children, well done. It is the perfect time in America for a communist to brag about the benefits of big government to a captive unemployed student audience who are fearful of a depressed job market and their inability to pay off their student loans. If students were taught Shakespeare rather than Karl Marx, they would know that “every braggart shall be found an ass”….and that ass in 2016 is the face, I mean seat, of the donkey Democrat party.
Blunt Bernie has been resurrected at the right time. He has the old classic look of rumpled rebelliousness that is so chic, so nouveau, so Time magazine cover ready, so much easier to digest and trust than Jane Fonda’s Botoxed smooth forehead, John Kerry’s reconstructed horizontal chin, Susan Sarandon’s hoisted breasts, or Hillary Clinton’s lying lips.
Our pal Bernie, the socialist Mister Rogers of Baby Boomer descendent’s is the real deal, the dedicated Vermont communist who has kept his state in the dark ages economically for years, coming in 42nd among the best states in which to do business. Vermont, the least religious state in the United States, puts the Bible’s tax collector Zacchaeus to shame with the highest taxation in the nation based on the percentage of per capita income. In Zacchaeus’ day, he saw the light, gave away half of his possessions to the poor and if he cheated anyone, promised to pay back four times the amount. Maybe the irreligious residents of Vermont should read the Bible, they might learn something that would benefit them.
What our enthralled, starry eyed youth do not seem to know is that Grandfather Bernie is just another boring radical with a very typical hippie past who sympathized with Fidel Castro and the Nicaraguan government, but who never came close to becoming an iconic figurehead like guerrilla leader Che Guevara who aided Castro in overturning the Cuban government. Plus, “Che” is so glamorously dead, a cool martyr, and Bernie is very much alive with a face that looks terribly unhip on an extra large t-shirt.
The other uncool thing about Bernie is his good soldier wife, plain Jane. It used to be that wives were not fair game in the political ring, but when they are a paid employee or a candidates campaign manager then all bets are off. So let’s take a peek at plain Jane.
On the day after Bernie married Jane, his third wife, on May 29th, 1988, Bernie and Jane, the former Jane O’Meara, shared their honeymoon, with a 12-person delegation from Burlington, Vermont, when they visited Yaroslavl, Russia, located 160 miles west of Moscow, a town that then Mayor Bernie had launched a sister program with. It was a sizzling 90 degrees. Now, I don’t want to throw any young progressive males who are reading this into a cold shower of words, but honeymooning with a dozen comrades in the sizzling Russian heat is not cool. Even Vladimir Lenin’s ideological “friend, comrade, and sister” and young wife, Nadezhda Krupskaya, describes her elusive private honeymoon in exile as very eventful. Communists may be a lot of weird things, but they are certainly smart enough to know that a happy wife is a happy life.
While lamenting Bernie’s lack of romance, disgruntled women need to know that Bernie’s honeymoon excursion was free, paid for by the taxpayer, a puckish political move that most men in their right minds would never attempt, even dictators-in-waiting.
Plain Jane then became college president of Burlington College in 2004. Seven years later in an open letter to the College Trustees, a former faculty member described the Sanders atmosphere in harsh terms: Staff, faculty and students “have been reduced to silence and fear of retribution by what can only be described as a pattern of intimidation, spying, and targeting of critical voices,” she wrote. The teacher further described a closed and hostile environment, claiming that Sanders frequently yelled at her staff and managed to eliminate anyone who voiced criticism, and that “many concerned voices were forced out by continual abuse and by eventually being offered humiliating and unfair contracts in which they were demoted below people who were, in many cases, less qualified for their positions.”
Seven years later in an open letter to the College Trustees, a former faculty member described the Sanders atmosphere in harsh terms: Staff, faculty and students “have been reduced to silence and fear of retribution by what can only be described as a pattern of intimidation, spying, and targeting of critical voices,” she wrote. The teacher further described a closed and hostile environment, claiming that Sanders frequently yelled at her staff and managed to eliminate anyone who voiced criticism, and that “many concerned voices were forced out by continual abuse and by eventually being offered humiliating and unfair contracts in which they were demoted below people who were, in many cases, less qualified for their positions.”
So much for free speech when you have a communist plain Jane running your school. Soon thereafter, Jane Sanders was forced to resign her post after reaching a settlement with the Board of Trustees. Since that time, not so plain Jane has been embroiled in accusations of using campaign funds to fund her own plainness. Critics have questioned Sanders and her kids’ paid volunteer work for Bernie Sanders’ campaigns over the years, which a blogger for the Hill recently called “not illegal but certainly smacks of nepotism.” Her LinkedIn profile shows she spent years serving as “press secretary, chief of staff or policy analyst as needed” while Bernie Sanders was in the House of Representatives.
It does leave one to wonder whether Vermonter Jane has been milking her constituents in order to purchase her plain Jane, concert-like Woodstock wardrobe. At least Americans will not have to shop designer stores to copy her look if she were to become First Lady. The Salvation Army chain will do just fine.
I for one am tired of looking at and listening to a Marxist, Green Giant First Lady who for seven years has starved our children with gross, inadequate school lunches and insists that Americans eat sprouts and organic weeds that even the most discerning rabbit would not eat, while hoarding and eating pork chops and mashed potatoes behind the scenes? Bulges do not lie. Do we really want to subject ourselves to another Marxist First Lady? My delicate conservative stomach cannot take any further abuse.
Come on youth. You have more class than Bernie Sanders. The Birkenstocks and Woodstock apparel get old really fast, especially when you are forced to wear hippie hand-me-downs because the president of the United States is a communist who intends to tax you out of house and home, along with your parents. It would also be good to keep in mind that Vermont’s favorite Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream, now owned by a huge foreign corporate conglomerate, may someday come out with a trendy new global flavor such as, “Liking Licking Lenin” which could lead to future health problems and a dismal end to America.
Bernie Sanders, B.S. socialism, so yesterday.
Don’t hide away from your troubles or they will be here to stay…