Legend has it that the Patron Saint of Ireland, St. Patrick, rid the island of snakes, chasing them into the sea after they began attacking him during a 40 day fast he undertook on top of a hill. But, scientists have concluded that St. Patrick had nothing to do with Ireland’s snake-free status, that the most recent ice age, 15,000 years ago, kept the island too cold for snakes and after the ice age, the surrounding sea’s kept snakes from colonizing the Emerald Isle. Snakes symbolize paganism and evil, as described throughout Judeo-Christian mythology, the most famous as Eve’s tempter in the Garden of Eden, therefore, St. Patrick’s fame can more likely be attributed to the banishment of godless people and their malevolent intentions. New Zealand, Iceland, Greenland, Antarctica and Ireland are all snake-free…that is, Ireland was snake-free until America’s “Head of Snake” Barack Obama and his slithery entourage were invited to mingle with the people of Éire…for an ungodly second time last summer!
Obama’s first trip to Ireland in 2011 was destined to become a huge success. The prize diplomatic rabbit in Obama’s black hat at that time was that many, many, many rabbits ago, he had an ancestor, on his mother’s side, who hailed from Ireland! That significant piece of genealogical information was fascinating to many Americans who at once realized that Obama’s beer summits were not just make-believe fantasies that had been conjured up to enhance his “cool” image, they were rooted in Obamas Irish lineage and desire to keep Guinness in good financial stead! Obama’s seemingly infinite gene pool bubbled lucky green that year and he intended to enchant the Irish in pathetic python-like fashion, camouflaging and re-inventing himself as a true native of Ireland. Upon arrival, our “Head of Snake” announced, “My name is Barack Obama, of the Moneygall Obama’s and I’ve come home to find the apostrophe we lost somewhere along the way.” (shouldn’t that be lost chromosome?)
When Obama returned to Ireland the summer before with his over-sized Leprechaun wife, Michelle, the couple immediately became the darlings of the green jet set in Northern Ireland and the perfect examples of the term “Ugly Americans.” As the headlines back home highlighted impending sequester and subsequent budget cuts, Michelle demonstrated just how frugally Irish she was with her $3,300-per-night stay in Dublin’s five-star Shelbourne hotel and $5 million dollar total travel tab. She, their daughters, and her many slaves booked 30 rooms in the hotel while Michelle hunkered down in the Princess Grace Suite, named for the late Hollywood film star and princess of Monaco. The American taxpayers who were footing the bill did not mind the expense of her lavish digs, however, because her ignorant wasteful spending would eventually pay off diplomatically when Michelle would be able to claim royal linkage to Monaco, and officially attribute her “crown” to the Princess Grace inspired royal silk sheets that she “slept with” for two days! “Aller voler un cerf-volant” Michelle!
While in Northern Ireland, O’bama spoke to 2,000 Irish students and declared, “To those who choose the path of peace, I promise you, the United States of America will support you every step of the way. We will always be the wind at your back.”
Oh, oh. I do hope the Irish children had been taught beforehand that Obama’s “wind” suffers from a bad gas that is not pleasant to be around and “promise” to him has a totally different meaning! Obama’s version of P.R.O.M.I.S.E. is really a euphemism for; Pompous, Radical, Obstinate, Miscreant, Imperious, Sinful and Egregious, behavior. An “Obama-like promise” made by any good Irish American Catholic would send them packing to the nearest confessional for a serious chat with a highly concerned priest!
Obama, consumed by the spirit of Phythos which mimics the mighty python snake, is used to delivering false promises because his pathalogical lies have become commonplace in America where evil has been legitimized and sin justified. Unfortunately, Northern Ireland experienced, first-hand, the inherent evil of this snake-like presidential predator who gets a kick out of ambushing his unsuspecting victims. During his speech to the predominately Catholic young crowd, Obama boldly stated that religious education can promote division and resentment. A top Vatican official, Archbishop Gerhard Muller, was at the same time telling an audience in Scotland that Catholic education provided a rare place where “intellectual training, moral discipline and religious commitment would come together,” adding that Catholic education provides young people with a wonderful opportunity to “grow up with Jesus.”
Slimy O’bama further angered church officials by emphasizing that “if towns remain divided, if Catholics have their schools and buildings and Protestants have theirs, if we can’t see ourselves in one another and fear or resentment are allowed to harden, that too encourages division and discourages cooperation.”
Bishop Donal McKeown in Northern Ireland immediately blasted Obama for his insensitive attacks on Catholic schools and accused him of a “hackneyed” analysis of the region’s political situation. The Bishop went on to say that “It is the Catholic schools in Northern Ireland that are now among the most racially and linguistically mixed. And, while so many young people are very open to new friendships and opportunities, it needs to be stated that it is adults outside schools who promote mistrust for their own political and personal agenda’s.”
American Catholics for Religious Freedom pointed out that the media completely ignored the story and that, “Secular progressives like President Obama ignore the truth that faith-based education is a component of the religious freedom guaranteed by the Constitution. He can’t bear the thought that Catholic and parochial schools not only teach important values, but consistently produce better educational results at lower cost than America’s failing public schools.”
I doubt that the higher-ups in Ireland will want to share a pint of Guinness with Black Irish O’bama anytime soon. Perhaps O’bama should work on honing his diplomatic skills at the next meeting of the Muslim Brotherhood and tell them they should no longer have Islamic schools in mosques! Maybe then, after pleading for his survival, he would learn when to shut his tele-prompted mouth. I would certainly love to be a fly on the turkey bacon at that intense gathering of agitated Jihadists!
America’s most treasured commodity, our children, are being played like pawns in the political chess game. The standards of Common Core in our public schools are meant to harm and impede not enlighten and advance, and our children’s religious rights and freedoms are being kicked to hell by an out of control, belligerent rabid donkey that is deliriously hee-hawing with sacreligous greed now that the religious are being forced to pay a tax that supports abortion! Many Republicans fall into the “ass” category as well, but for now, the focus must be on stopping the Marxist Democrats who are currently in control on Capitol Hill.
To help the flow of beer and political blarney, I am providing you with an Irish pub song that will help enhance your festivities.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Love this. You did your research and are such a resource for us. Just heard Senator Mike Lee saying that we have to stop being pastel and get bold. That kelly green doesn’t look very pastel to me. Thanks.
love the humor in it, thanks, however I am one who believes in the literal words in Genesis, so personally , I believe the earth is approx. 6,500 years old, and I thank God you’re not a liberal who’d tear me up for having an opinion of my own!!
I love the humor throughout. 🙂 good post ma’am.
Being Irish, I will lift my green beer to you and sing an Irish lilt for our Writer and Humorist in Chief, Cynthia! Well done our bonnie lass!
Cyn! It’s been way too long. This is a great space. I will check in regularly. I have a lot of catching up to do.
For St. Patrick’s Day:
Go mbeannaí Dia duit agus mise. (May God bless you and yours.)
Bealtaine an lá is fearr de do am atá caite
Bí ar an lá is measa de do thodhchaí. (May the best day of your past
Be the worst day of your future.)