Turning Lemons Into Free Speech

With every penned or phoned executive order comes a more emboldened Democrat groupie ready to attack the conservative message. They stand over Facebook and Twitter like Piranha ready to eat their young if the message does not match their ideology. My article last week, “Woodstock D.C. Hippie Nirvana” sent me off to Twitter prison, not once, but twice, where I still sit, so I would like to take this opportunity to express my viewpoint about the progressives who delight in censoring me and others, the “thought police” who are trying to stifle our right to free speech.

Unfortunately, the progressives today are so far left that if the earth were flat, they would all fall off the far left edge. It is unlucky for America that the earth is round. The fact that the left is now the Marxist /Leninist party of the United States does make for lively debate though, and when you throw a black racist president with Muslim bloodlines into the colorful mix, it is quite the “dog and pony show” on Capitol Hill, a daily staged circus performance that makes Cirque du Soleil look like a bunch of amateurs. Listening to and observing the bunch of bureaucrats in Washington D.C., is almost as much fun as watching seals balance spinning balls on their wet noses, but at some point in time, the fun and games must end and they need to point their wet noses into the smelly Washington D.C. air, balance the budget, and begin to represent “We the People.”

The new stereotype for anyone who disagrees with this rogue circus crew in Washington is “Far Right,” meant to be a derogatory term that implies terroristic tendencies and religious fanaticism. It is a sad day in America when the true patriots of this great land are called out for their allegiance to the flag, the Constitution of the United States and “In God We Trust.” Members of the Tea Party have been identified in official military manuals as “terrorists” and the term Far Right is being used to defame, delegitimize, censor, punish and criminalize those who dare speak the truth.

But, what about the left, why have they not been properly labeled? The “Far Left” title does not adequately capture the true essence of their fractious personality so it is time to assign them a catchphrase as well, one that will become recognized as the de facto trademark  or epithet of the far left movement. To come up with a perfect name for them, one only needs to turn on the nightly news and watch a progressive being grilled by a conservative talk show host to begin to get a feel for their signature personality. When watching an interview, the viewer soon recognizes the left to be wimpy characters who “whine” about everything. When cornered with difficult questions, their voices become high pitched, their nostrils begin to flare and their eyes bulge wide while searching the ceiling for esoteric answers. Then, as their slanted rhetoric comes to a dramatic end, their pointer finger wags emphatically at the conservative host and blames them for asking an unfair question. So, in my opinion,“Whiney Weenies” says it all and just like their split personalities, is a designation that could easily become multi-purpose in nature and even duplicitous when needed. Slight mutations of “Whiney Weenies” could be cleverly used for a variety of situations and talking points. For example “Don Juan Weenies” would be perfect when discussing such adulterers as Bill Clinton or Anthony Weiner and “Androgynous Weenies” can aptly describe feminists like Wendy Davis, Sandra Fluke, and Hillary Clinton, women who wear the pants in the family. “Jumbo Weenie” fits Michelle Obama really well because the term can be broken down into fat calories and also serve as an unflattering double entendre. “Whopper Weenie” expertly describes Barack Obama, a president who habitually likes to tell untruthful whoppers.

This fall, just before the Midterms, the Tea Party could have a “Genie Weenie” of a campaign with signs and posters that read, “Vote Republican or Settle for the Whiney Weenie Weft.”  Bumper stickers with, “Ween Wight” would fool the NSA and not subject drivers to random searches just because they are conservatives. Lapel buttons with  “Weenies are Wrong” could snare the vote of both Michelle’s grain fed food police and donut loving conservatives. “Weepy Weenie Boehner Must Go” is just another thought. Lastly, a “Wicked Weenie Weekly” could be the go-to paper that keeps the populace informed of the latest lawless executive orders coming out of the oval office.

Thomas Jefferson once said, “If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, it expects what never was and never will be…..the people cannot be safe without information. Where the press is free, and every man able to read, all is safe.” Mass communication is now controlled by the elite, powerful few. Due to an ever unpopular economic environment combined with Obama’s low poll numbers, the facts coming out of the Goebbels gobbledegook “Ministry of Propaganda” these days, is fuzzy on the best of days, distorted on most. Singling out and stifling the conservative voice is a dangerous portent, a bad omen of an out of control despotic censorship.

“Faced with a brass band that was positioned to drown out free speech, Russian activists reacted to the potential confrontation with lemons. With activists eating lemons or pretending to, involuntary saliva reaction of the band made it impossible for them to interrupt.”- author, Masha Gessen

As the old saying goes, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” A poetic rendition of the phrase entitled “The Optimist” appeared in the 1940 edition of The Rotarian:

“Life handed him a lemon,
As Life sometimes will do.
His friends looked on in pity,
Assuming he was through.
They came upon him later,
Reclining in the shade
In calm contentment, drinking
A glass of lemonade

Tea anyone, or do we need to start passing the lemonade?