Mr Potato Head does not come alive until you put his face on. In my day, you first needed a potato, but now because it is too much work to pick up a potato at the grocery store, consumers are provided with a plastic potato head, an ironic and symbolic replacement for America’s favorite vegetable in our plastic society. Mr Potato Heads many facial features get easily punched into place while deciding if he should be happy, sad or implanted with a black moustache that manages to disguise his mood altogether.

In New Jersey, this coming Wednesday, all sad Mr Potato Head couch potatoes need to get off their comfortable naugahyde vinyl roosts and report to their nearest neighborhood voting booths, even though it may take a little extra spunk and energy. The temporary annoyance of having to get off the couch is a small price to pay for the sacred freedom that all couch potatoes seem to appreciate. On October 16th, a special election in New Jersey will be held to fill the Senate seat left vacant when Frank Lautenberg passed away in June. Current mayor of Newark, Cory Booker and Steve Lonegan, former mayor of Bogota, New Jersey will face off in a highly contested race that will hopefully yield one more conservative seat in the mostly liberal Senate.

Instead of focusing on race or party affiliation race, common sense and reason should be used to fully understand how healthy Newark is after being managed by the Booker regime for the last seven years. The facts surrounding Bookers success as Mayor of Newark should be ample evidence of his ability to lead in the future and become a successful Senator who will do an exceptional job for America.

Let’s begin with the fact that Conde Nast Traveler named Newark, New Jersey the most unfriendly city in the world, not just in the United States, in the entire world! According to the survey of 46,000 readers, Newark is more unfriendly than Islamabad, Pakistan, Oakland, California, Luanda, Angola and Kuwait. One reader said she “would not recommend this city for anything.” That brazen distinction certainly does not make a person want to run right over there and share in the kumbaya jungle of bad times.

Crime has escalated under Booker’s watch even though in 2006 when Booker ran for mayor he stated “Hold me accountable” if crime were to increase. Current State Police records show murders and robberies on the rise. “I am a hostage in my own home” cited resident Deborah Boone-Coy in a recent interview. “ I don’t feel comfortable to indulge in normal casual activity.” Within the last two months alone, a child was murdered, 10 dead in 10 days, including a pizza deliveryman who was gunned down. Should we hold Booker “accountable” and if not, who should be held responsible…the pizza company for not providing armored cars for their deliverymen?

Newark, long dubbed the carjacking capitol of the world is on track to have more than 400 carjackings this year, up from around 200 in 2009. Booker’s solution to the problem is an expensive tax paid billboard campaign that notifies illiterate thugs they should expect to be jailed for their crimes. It is a typical Booker big government band-aid for a social problem that is better fixed by pumping the same money, as an example, into the Boys Club of America, an organization that inspires and enables young people to realize their full potential as productive, responsible and caring citizens. But Booker does not care to get to the root of the problem and would prefer to enslave than enable.

While on the subject of children, how has education fared in Newark under Mayor Booker? On what should be a positive note, Booker has been credited for being responsible for attracting a Mark Zuckerberg $100 million gift to help fortify both his district and charter schools. However, facts do not lie and an education system with a graduation rate pegged at less than 50 percent is unacceptable and appalling. Newark is one of the most expensive school districts in the country but for seven years in a row, thousands of children have folded into a life of crime and poverty and have not even received a high school diploma! It is even more troubling when learning that a good portion of the Zuckerberg funds have been used to pad the pockets of the city’s consultants. In addition to those shocking shennanigan’s, Booker’s former law partner, Trent DiPasquale has been allowed to bill city controlled agencies for more than $1.5 million in legal fees, while Booker himself has earned $688,500 in equity payouts since becoming mayor. When highlighting political payoffs, Booker does seem like a great fit for the Senate. After all, crooks of a feather flock together.

Every available couch potato needs to put on their serious faces and make an important decision, either let Booker get elected, another loyal disciple of Obama who insists on more big government spending programs, or to get out and vote for Steve Lonegan who would like to promote an entrepreneurial spirit that will help America get out of the economic doldrums. Booker supports global warming and the business killing Cap and Trade, while Lonegan has fought hard against Cap and Trade. Booker supports more regulations for gun purchasing and supports banning assault rifles, while Lonegan opposes any new gun control measures and firmly supports the Second Amendment. Booker supports an all encompassing immigration bill, while Lonegan staunchly opposes it. Booker goes along with Obamacare, while Lonegan wants to repeal or defund the ill-conceived Act. Booker is Pro-choice while Lonegan is Pro-life. The bottom line is, these two candidates are diametrically opposed, Booker a lefty clone of Obama and into big government and Steve Lonegan a righty Reaganite who is for cutting  spending and helping the middle class prosper and thrive once again.

As every couch potato found out the hard way in 2012, not getting off the couch to vote can affect their future in a very profound and dismal way. Couches all over America are now being occupied by children still residing at home because they cannot find a job. The king couch potatoes of the house are now forced to share their TV remotes with disagreeable family members who do not like their taste in television programs. Even worse than that, most kings of the couch have also been forced to share their beloved perches with teenage couch potatoes who prefer to play violent video games like Grand Theft Auto and Manhunt while listening to Heavy Metal. It is enough for any Potato Head couch potato to want to remove their plastic eyes and ears.

Get out and vote on Wednesday, your couch potato life depends on it!